NEP
06-09-2011, 09:56 AM
Three guys died and went to heaven. St. Peter greeted them at the pearly gates. "Hello newcomers. Today, we're only allowing people in who have died a very horrible death. Please describe how you died and I will decide whether or not you may enter." The first man stepped up.
"Well, I got off work early today. However, when I got home, my wife appeared to be acting guilty. I thought she might be cheating on me, so I ran out to the balcony of our apartment. Sure enough, there was a man hanging from it. I grabbed a rock and bashed his fingers until he let go and fell. Much to my disappointment, he landed in the bushes, still alive. In a fit of rage, I ran back inside, grabbed the refrigerator and hurled it out the window at him! Unfortunately, while doing so, a blood vessel burst in my brain, killing me almost instantly."
St. Peter thought about the story for a moment. He then opened the pearly gates and said, "Very well. You may enter. Who is next?" The second man then stepped up to tell his story.
"Alright, so it's like this... Every afternoon, I do exercises on my balcony. However, today, I slipped and fell over. Fortunately, my luck held out for me. I was able to grab the balcony below me. Then, this maniac came out of nowhere and started bashing my fingers with a rock! I couldn't hold on anymore. I had to let go. But, my luck still held out. I landed in the bushes, mostly unharmed. Then, this refrigerator came out of nowhere and crushed me to death!"
St. Peter had an awkward expression on his face. He just opened the gates and said, "Alright... you can enter. Uhh, next person!" The third man walked up.
"OK, picture this: I'm sitting naked in a fridge..."
"Well, I got off work early today. However, when I got home, my wife appeared to be acting guilty. I thought she might be cheating on me, so I ran out to the balcony of our apartment. Sure enough, there was a man hanging from it. I grabbed a rock and bashed his fingers until he let go and fell. Much to my disappointment, he landed in the bushes, still alive. In a fit of rage, I ran back inside, grabbed the refrigerator and hurled it out the window at him! Unfortunately, while doing so, a blood vessel burst in my brain, killing me almost instantly."
St. Peter thought about the story for a moment. He then opened the pearly gates and said, "Very well. You may enter. Who is next?" The second man then stepped up to tell his story.
"Alright, so it's like this... Every afternoon, I do exercises on my balcony. However, today, I slipped and fell over. Fortunately, my luck held out for me. I was able to grab the balcony below me. Then, this maniac came out of nowhere and started bashing my fingers with a rock! I couldn't hold on anymore. I had to let go. But, my luck still held out. I landed in the bushes, mostly unharmed. Then, this refrigerator came out of nowhere and crushed me to death!"
St. Peter had an awkward expression on his face. He just opened the gates and said, "Alright... you can enter. Uhh, next person!" The third man walked up.
"OK, picture this: I'm sitting naked in a fridge..."