EURO  ENGLISH

The European Union has just announced an agreement whereby  English will be
the official language  of the European Union rather than German, which was
the one other  possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's
Government has conceded that English spelling does actually have some
small, but  significant, room for improvement and has thus accepted a
5-year phase-in-plan of these improvements that will  eventually become known as
"Euro  English".

* Year - 1  In  the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly
this  will make the sivil servants jump with joy.  The hard "c" will be
dropped in favour of  "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards
kan have one letter less.

* Year - 2  In the sekond year, there will be growing publik enthusiasm
when  the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words
like fotograf 20 persent shorter.

* Year - 3 In the third year, publik akseptanse of  the new spelling kan
be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated  changes
are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double
letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil
agre that the horible mes of the  silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful
and it should go away.

* Year - 4  By  the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing "th" with "z", and "w" with  "v".

* Year - 5 During the fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan  be dropd from
vords containing "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a  reil
sensibl ritenstyl. Zer vil be  no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil
find it ezitu understand ech oza.

Ze drem of a United Urop vil finali kum tru. If zis  mad u smil ples pason
to oza pepl.

Zen ve vil rul ze vorld !!!!
Hav  Vun!